Forgoing gifts this Christmas

My husband has been looking at several promotional/ cheap catalogs of computer and appliances shop because we wanted so much to buy a new desktop and this was supposed to be a gift for ourselves this Christmas. It's been more than 3 months since our old PC died. :(

But because of my Father's hospitalization, things have changed now. We are forgoing that gift to ourselves including some more gifts we intend to buy for relatives and friends. Good thing I have already bought and wrapped some gifts months ago so we still have few to give this season.

I'm sure my friends and of course our families will understand why we don't have gift for everyone this time. That doesn't mean though that we love them less, after all Christmas is not about gifts only and they know that we love them even without the wrapped box/bag.

Faith and Infertility

I don't remember talking about infertility here mainly because this is our ministry blog but I would just like everyone to know that we are battling infertility for almost 6 years now. And I realized it is not an easy battle. a lot of times I felt down and out, lost hope and was discouraged but every time that happens I get up, find my HOPE and renew my TRUST and have bigger  FAITH that God will fulfill his promise to us.

We are waiting because we know it will happen in God's perfect timing . He's never late.

While we are waiting, like what I've mentioned on my last post, we will keep on worshiping and praising the Lord. We will keep on serving Him. Sometimes it's the waiting time that is hard, it's  the waiting  time that might wither us but if we worship while we wait, it keeps the hopes high :D

For the meantime, I'm grateful for what we have,  such as our exclusive time for each other (as husband and wife) the love we can selflessly give to our nieces and nephews and friends' children and the time we have for our ministry.  (plus the fact that for now we don't have to worry about baby expenses and the cost that comes from having a child-and that we do not worry about how much is dna testing and newborn screening test and other hospital expenses when you give birth)

We'll come to that I know and we have to get ourselves ready.

Home alone. sleepy

I'm home alone tonight. I decided not to go with my husband in the recording studio. I need to sleep early because of work tomorrow. I am not really used to being alone here in the house and it feels sad, good thing I have internet (though too slow) and my Tablet to keep me company.

But because I am sleeping early (to think I just woke up 5 hours ago) I'll just make a quick visit to facebook and some friends blog and I'll be off to bed. I don't know but I think i am too sleepy.

It's holiday here today ( Philippine's Independence day) and I spent all day at home sleeping. Sigh. at least I am rested and hopefully ready for days work tomorrow :)

Have a blessed evening everyone!! God loves you!

New things to come

It's 6:00 in the morning and I am still awake. I had a very rough night last night  but surprisingly I'm okay now. It is still sad and I still don't understand everything but I've already offered it to the Lord.

We're moving out of the church and I guess you know that it is not easy. I'll post more about it (probably the details when I have the time and I'm rested and I can sit still in front of the pc and write my heart out)

For now, I am (we are) excited for the new chapter of our life, new worship place, new people, new souls to win and new environment. It would be hard to start anew specially if you start from scratch as in nothing even one chair (I wish I have silver bars from Golden Eagle which I can sell so we can buy all the things we will be needing in the new church but alas I have none.

But that only makes me even more excited to see and witness how God will work and how He will provide for our every need.

I'll keep you updated. :) Thank you for all the prayers and support!! Love you all!

Sleeping late = eye bugs

Who wants to give me the best eye wrinkle cream they have? I need it so badly :) Would you mind if I share please?

I've been sleeping so late lately..and when I say late , it means really late, like today I haven't slept yet and it's already 4:51 AM. Besides of the wrinkle in my eyes I also have this big black around it. Imagine how I look like now. A zombie? I guess so.

I joined the youth's prayer vigil last night so that explains why am Is till awake at this very hour. SO the sleeplessness is worth it.

I hope to get back to normal sleeping habit next week.

Christmas is coming

It’s mid- September already and I know there are people who are already buying Christmas gifts to avoid the Christmas Rush in December. I wish to do the same but not this early though, I’ll probably start October. I have more nephews than nieces so checking the cars and power wheels toys is a must for me. For the girls, dolls and cooking set toys are the favorites.

The only thing I hate during Christmas season is the traffic. It is at it worse on that month.

But nonetheless, I am excited for Christmas.

Multi-tasking..bad or good?

I know most of us specially women multitasks, as much as possible we do not want to waste precious time so we end up doing/ juggling a lot with our two hands. In my case one mind. You see. I'm reading about this marketing materials called point of purchase displays while listening to music and at the same time taking all the lyrics of the songs in my heart ( just like "You are amazing God" that is playing now) and not only that I am also playing bejewelled on another tab. From time to time, I also peek on facebook to check if I have notifications. I know I multitask a lot and I admit sometimes it is not good. As I have said, I only have one mind and well two hands. But I just want to maximized the use of my PC and my time while I'm sitting in front of it. Is that bad? What do you think?

How about you? How far do you multitask? Do you cook while doing laundry? Do you watch TV while cleaning the house?

Walking, Exercise and Oprah's store

Last night, me and my husband decided to get back into walking again, we both need exercise and so far walking is the only thing that I can do. Before we left for Malaysia we used to have this morning walking in one of the public park here but things went wrong with me when I tried to add some aerobics in top of that daily walking. So we kept those exercise clothes until such time that my body permits me to do walking again. And I feel I am ready now. I mean except for occasional dizziness which I think was mainly because of the abnormal sleeping hour I feel I can do some exercise now.

Anyways, change topic. Did you know that Oprah is selling her once worn clothes in her store? So if you feel like you want to feel being her and you like her choice of women's clothing you can visit her store and see for your self, they have also loungewear which I have yet to see. Not that I will be able to buy one but you know, girls or women always want to window shop once in a while.

While we were in Malaysia also we often talk about Oprah’s church and I am not by any chance going to discuss it here, but smart readers can always do their own research about her and I guess everyone has the right to her own opinion.

Thoughts on Motherhood

Last night I spent hours and hours reading a mother’s blog. But that is no ordinary blog. The very first entry I read was the birthing story of her 2nd daughter and from that post you can feel every emotion that comes along with it.

- frustration
- fear
- expectancy
- joy
- pain
- happiness

and a lot more.

You see, her 2nd daughter is special (has down syndrome) but the blog is not about down syndrome, it is about a mother’s life and most of all the MOTHER’s LOVE. Love for life, love for her daughters.

Now, reading that blog all night long made me think and re think and wonder if I will ever have the same experience as her, like all the mothers in the world. Conceiving, coming to full term and finally giving birth. I wonder If I’ll ever be able or capable of that mother’s love, that opportunity to love, nurture, care and be responsible for ones life. To be honest I sometimes lose hope.

I turned 37 last week, we’re on our 4th year wedding anniversary this coming April. I stopped consultation with the OB two years ago, I admit it’s financially and emotionally draining and we don’t have much to drain on the financial side.

Sometimes I ask why can’t I just be pregnant like anybody else. Why everything is too hard for me, too hard to lose weight, to hard to conceive, too hard to exercise (walking is the only exercise I am allowed to) and I can’t even seem to find the diets that works for me.

But I am not giving up, along with my prayers and your prayers, I will still give it a try. I am on the hunt for new OB (one that doesn’t charge too much) since last week. I am decided to be checked just before we go to our mission trip next next week.

So please keep on praying for us. It keeps us strong and hopeful.

Memories

If you are a facebook friend, probably you know by now that I feel bad right at this moment. I spent hours crying and trying to accept that all the important pictures I've taken for the past few years were now GONE. Christmas spent at the province with my parents, a nephew's graduation, a family reunion, a summer vacation, some trips we made as husband and wife and many many more memories.

I know I can't do anything about it now, in fact a facebook friend commented saying that memories were etched in our hearts and I now it's true but It's still different when you reminisce it with pictures, pictures that captured every emotion on that particular moment. I could only sigh and sigh.

I wish I had stored it somewhere in the web, I wish I made a back-up, I wish I had know the husband is reformatting the disk..but we can not turn back the time. I have to deal with it now.

So instead of reading about whole life insurance now, I'm trying to back up what's left at my photos and I will do it even if I don't sleep again tonight, i don't want another loss. It is too much to handle. Maybe you're wondering why It's a big deal for me..those are only pictures anyway but I am one of those people who value those a lot, as a matter of fact I always say that if ever our house is on fire I'll save all my photo album first because you can not make those memories again, you can not repeat another Christmas or another birthday in your life right? You can always replace furnitures and stuff but never an event that happened once in your life.

Sorry..this is such a rant.

Future Plans

picture source : here

It's the 12th month of the year, it's usually the month where organizations and businesses make plan for the next year.

And me and Rudolf are doing the same, God has been leading us to new directions that started this year, this year was great for both of us and we can't wait for the next year to come.

Greater things are yet to come, my dear husband often tell me that and I believed it in my heart.

Major changes are coming our way next year, as early as now we are discussing his going back to Malaysia for one month and this time I will make sure I'll be with him. Then I am also considering and praying that from there we will go to Singapore , visit Pastor Joseph and stay in my cousins place and see if God has something to do for us there. I'm seeing a lot of travel for next year especially when I am already resigned from my day job, we have to prepare for this and get ready, not only spiritually but emotionally and physically as well, we don't want to get sick while traveling. We can't afford to get medical travel insurance so prevention is best for us.

Did I mention I am planning of quitting my day job? yes, and it is a tough decision to make but I know God's plan is always better than mine.

How about you? have you already made plans for next year? Do you see major changes coming your way? It's sometimes scary but there's Jeremiah 29 :11 so no need to worry. God knows best.

Random thoughts

We went home to province last Sunday, it's my mom's 70th birthday celebration :) It was nothing grand but you can see how happy she was, she prepared snacks for the church people as she always did on her birthdays.

So we attended church service there and it's great! I can say it's a breather, a rest from what you have accustomed to. The Pastor is our cousin and we were blessed. he talked about Psalm 103: 1-5

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

he taught 5 things

1. GOD FORGIVES

2. GOD HEALS

3. GOD REDEEMS

4. GOD CROWNS

5. GOD SATISFIES

Can't thank the Lord enough for HIS goodness :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note, old acquaintance from there notice how I gained weight of course and everyone didn't forget to ask me if we already have a child (that's the "ouch" part) but we just smiled and said we were still praying.

I just hope I really be serious and committed in losing weight, actually, 2 of y friends who wanted to lose weight also have scheduled an "exercise day" for us. Wednesday and Friday night. I am thinking of making an online journal about it to encourage myself to really lose weight and be accountable to readers who will read it. I'll probably write about food I eat, my weight progress, our work ups, our chats, diets, and maybe even write about running machines, bikes, dip bar and body press.

I actually started it by cutting off coffee and I did it for 5 straight days :) but sad that I had a relapse tonight. I beg hubby just for a cup. I said give me a break! it's been 5 days..lol :)

Anyways, I've been blabbing so much here. Will have to hit the sack now..I still have work tomorrow er..later.

GOD BLESS YOU EVERYONE!

God is still Good!!

We maybe in the state of calamity right now, but we will rise! God is still in control and though my heart aches for those who lost their homes and some their loved ones. I will still praise the Lord and say that HE is GOOD! and that he will be able to provide/replace whatever was lost. Homes,business,furniture,cars, annuities and everything.

He did it with in the old testament with JOB, there's no reason He can't do it with us.

Our home was not spared. Here's pictures from our very house during the flood. But then that will not stop us from praising HIM. And that can not stop us also from doing what is supposed to do at this time of need.

In times like this, it is very comforting to know that our life is insured in God's mighty hands. Trust that He will provide for our every need.

Cybber Monday

It is for me tomorrow, because as the rest of the working guys are resting due to a holiday I on the other hand will be at the office. So it's a working Cyber Monday for me.

How I wish I could just stay home and browse the Internet from here but I can't. Hubby will also be having a working Monday because they will have a band rehearsal for the coming band competition on the first week of October. Hubby will become more busy than me this coming days, he has so many band commitments. I just pray he would be able to cope up. In the other hand, he is loving it, beside it his passion and calling so he's so much into it.

well just wish him and the rest of the band all the best!!

Sunday Worship Service

My facebook status says : feels bad for not attending the worship service this morning

yes, I do feel bad about it, I wish I hadn't stayed up so late for the past few nights..
and in times like this I hope we have an evening service so I can still attend even I wake up late.

How late did I wake up? well, it's already 2 in the afternoon when I gaze at the wall clock.

Although hubby said he will accompany me to other church who has evening services if I want to. Maybe I would after doing mu usual rounds in the internet world. I still have to finish this diet pills review just in case I needed to answer some questions about it.

How about you all? I hope you were able to attend worship service this Sunday and not be like me feeling bad about it.

Running for a cause

I was astounded when I actually read that over 93% of fat burners don’t work. I wonder if the one I used to take years ago was one of those 93%. No question why doctors don’t really prescribe them especially Obstetricians. Of course, the best way to lose weight and burn belly fat would still be exercise and proper diet.

I have taken so many diet pills before and the end result is always me gaining moré weight. It’s like you will lose some and then when you stopped taking the pills you will gain even more. I don’t know I might have chosen the wrong ones so please my dear readers if you want to take some fat burners or diet pills make sure it’s real, natural and that it works.

Anyhow, I have good news though, my friend and I are running for a cause next week. We are joining an event that will raise some funds for cancer patient and will also raise some awareness for cancer. And I am hoping that would be the start of me getting into regular running or walking again.

Cebu Buildings

We're back from Cebu, renewed and rested. I'll be posting some our pictures soon but let me give you a glimpse of what Cebu looks like. The Cebu sans the tourist spots.

Here are random pictures of Cebu buildings, some of it were taken as we are cruising inside a cab, and most of the pictures were taken by my dearest husband. There is a beautiful one which looks like some kind of steel buildings at the reclamation area which unfortunately we forgot to take picture. It is I believe the Cebu International Convention Center, for Cebuanos reading my blog please correct me if I’m wrong.

The Marco Polo Hotel

Cebu Provincial Capitol building

Robinsons

Cebu City Hall

Golden Peak Hotel

Thoughts On blogging

I’ve been blogging since 2005. I started with our wedding blog, there I wrote all my thoughts about the wedding preparations and recorded every happening about the wedding.

And then I made a personal blog- It is here where I started to write more on personal stuff about me. Here is where I share my deepest feeling as an individual and I know one or two of my posts have hurt few people and that made me draw back for a while and just blog for nothing in a while, I hope I’ll be able to write what I want to write there again soon.

And for my last one- This ministry blog where I update the world (not that the world care) about me and my husband’s ministry.

Through all those blogging years, I have learned a lot about ranking, links, seo tools, web hosting and such. I know I still have to learn a lot about maintaining a site, getting more visitors and getting a higher google ranking. But I don’t mind learning it slowly.

Blogging opened a new world to me. It also opened a lot of earning opportunities and for that I will be forever grateful. I have met new friends and they open up their world to me.

I hope to continue to blog as long as the blog world continues to open its door to me.

loving our new home!

We are now settled only because it was an extended weekend for us yesterday. I texted my boss and asked if I could stay home because as I have written before we're moving and we finally did last Friday night. So the new home was mess for three days and yesterday we finally managed to clean and fixed most of the stuff. We already have curtains, did some painting for the kitchen cabinet and it looks good now,

I am so happy..the feeling of going home to a HOME is very new to me and I am loving it!

The only downside is that because it is now a real home, we are enjoying eating together and Carmel and I are planning of learning and cooking new dishes. I know it won't be long till the husband offer me some appetite suppressants or else we will both gain a lot of weight in a matter of time.

But really, though it is not yet fully furnished and there are still adjustments and arranging to be done. I am enjoying it. I realized now how much I miss a quiet place.

Discovering My Ministry

I am back to teaching Class 301 which is “Discovering my Ministry” by Rick Warren. It is a series of discipleship our church uses for each and every member.

And being back to teaching that gave me time to reflect also about the ministries I am in now.

Is this what God really wants? Am I Shaped for this? Am I happy? Am I fruitful?

And again the realization that ministry means to serve using whatever God has given you.

Talents, time, money, strength and many more.

I actually wanted to say no to this teaching class but I am happy I did not. God spoke to me during the first session and I know he will minister to me to while teaching this.

On the other note, hubby and I are planning (wishing) to have at least two weeks holiday before I formally transfer to the new company. I wish I could spend those two weeks in our province with my mother and father. It is not as grand as Florida vacations but the time I will be spending with my parents is priceless. I just want to spend time with them.

Watching the funeral and necrological service for our late President who was a mom to five children made me want to have more time with my parents before it is too late.